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1. |
I Believed
03:30
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When I was young they told me, Son
Look out 'cause God knows what you done
When you die you're gonna get caught
And then you'll pay for those wicked thoughts
God can see you wherever you go
Not trying to scare you, just thought you should know
So I hid my head behind a wall in my head
And after all that I found out God is dead
I believed what they said...
Grew to be a man, I heard the noise
Turns out girls are different from boys
Got new notions about games to play
But they said Son it won't be that way
Girls have parts - all night they haunt you
But nice girls don't do the things you want to
So I found a nice girl and I tried to be good
But she took her notions, found someone who would
I believed what they said...
Got the job, signed up for the grind
They said Bend over if you don't mind
A great opportunity for one so young
And when you kiss ass, use lots of tongue
It’ll look just fine on your resume
And we’ll remember you come bonus day
Can you believe I believed them every time?
I’m just lucky stupid ain’t a crime.
I believed what they said…
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2. |
Good Idea at the Time
05:41
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Once upon a time in my low single digits
I was just an oblivious midget
No AC that summer we was trying to keep cool
Daddy hauled the kids off to the community pool
I don’t remember what, but I must have had some plan
When I doggy-paddled across to the deep end
Trying to keep my head above water and I’m starting to sink
A pool full of grownups didn’t notice me on the brink
Got myself into this mess
Gotta get out myself I guess
I’m in pretty deep and it’s looking like an uphill climb
Just seemed like a good idea at the time
Once upon a time in my low double digits
I was just a bucketful of nervous fidgets
Daddy wasn’t watching so I snuck away a bottle of Crown
And me and the boys decided to go riding downtown
I’m not quite sure whose car we was driving
The only sure thing was lights and sirens
I got myself a record at the tender age of seventeen
And now the judge is telling me to join the Marines
Got myself into this mess…
Once upon a time, low-to-mid double digiits
Got the nine-to-five, I’m selling widgets
Met myself a girl – I know you know her too
And if you’re a fool she’ll make a fool out of you
I signed a big note on a shiny new Mercedes
Cause everyone knows that’s how you get the ladies
I got plenty of time to think about the hole I’m in
Cause I don’t know where she is or where she’s been
Got myself into this mess…
Now here I am in my mid double digits
I’m VP of Sales at Acme Widgets
Got a house and a boat and a pool and a couple of kids
Hard to screw it up, but you know I think I did
A few late nights with the new secretary
“Just keep it to yourself, honey, don’t tell Mary”
Mary and her lawyers they sent a declaration of war
And the secretary’s saying, “Can we name the baby ‘Thor’?”
Got myself into this mess…
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3. |
Martial Law
03:59
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The Leninists battled the Stalinist fringe to a draw
So the anarchist coalition declared the state of martial law
The pacifist rebels would never surrender without a fight
So the socialists declared a curfew beginning at twilight
Feral civil servants roam the street
They’re looking for guns and money, or something to eat
Our little love nest was paradise for me and you
No one existed in the world, it was just we two
The Army broke down the door, they kidnapped you and took you away
While I hid behind the bottle, and there I remain to this day
I wander the flaming city searching for a sign
The gangs all avoid me – they think I’ve lost my mind
When they see me coming assassins all tremble with fright
Because no God-fearing man will wander this lawless black night
My eyes are all twisted, they glow with a yellowish hue
They don’t see the present anymore, they only see traces of you
But when Machete-Boy finds me and shoves it in
I’ll be bleeding out nothing but Bombay Sapphire Gin
They’ll kill me eventually, but until then they delay
They hang back – my madness keeps them at bay
While I search for clues for your destiny to be revealed
I laugh at their skittishness – the bottle’s my sword and my shield
And when the Trigger-Boy sees me, aims, and shoots
I’ll be bleeding out nothing but pure Absolut
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4. |
Give a Damn
03:33
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I can’t see why you can’t see
That this is wrong as wrong can be
You were meant to be with me
You could have your freedom – just let me hold the key
There’s so much I long to teach you
To make you need me like I need you
But I can’t find the words to reach you
And you don’t give a damn
I’m not part of the life you’re leading
My heart is bruised and my soul is bleeding
I’m reduced to helpless pleading
And you don’t give a damn
It’s two a.m., I’m all alone
I’m trying to reach you on the phone
“Please leave a message at the tone”
Pick it up baby can’t you throw me a bone
I think of you and my body’s aching
My brain’s on fire and my hands are shaking
This hell I’m in is my own making
And you don’t give a damn
Go on – take this knife and
Look me in the eye and drive it
Into my heart and take my life and
Maybe then you’ll give a damn.
I’m past the edge
I’m on the wrong side of the wedge
Only one way down off this ledge…
You don’t give a damn about me…
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5. |
Melancholy Tear
06:32
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With a melancholy tear
Death will whisper in your ear
Secrets only you may hear
Death is coming for you
She’s longing for you
In her crimson silk and lace
With her pale and lovely face
With a melancholy tear
Death is yearning for you
She’s burning for you
You were so certain that you could keep flirting and carelessly walk away
She’s quite demanding, your games notwithstanding, she knows you’ll be hers someday
Her passion’s on fire, she’s filled with desire, her heart’s set on you my friend
One thing on which you can depend – she will always get her man in the end
With her kiss upon your lips
And the touch of her fingertips
With a melancholy tear
Death is coming for you
She’s longing for you
She’s yearning for you
She’s burning for you
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6. |
Leave a Mark
04:56
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She left me in the trunk of a stolen Ford Taurus in the long-term parking lot at JFK
Oh brother walk it off, that’s gonna leave a mark
I love my little dumpling and I never want to leave her but the honeymoon’s over’s what she’s trying to say
Oh brother walk it off, that’s gonna leave a mark
Oh oh oh that’s gonna leave a mark
Who ever told you that love is a walk in the park?
Cupid shot his arrow but you know it was a shot in the dark
Oh oh oh that’s gonna leave a mark
I ask her if she’d love me if I didn’t have no money, would she be my sweet Chiquita if I was just poor?
Oh brother walk it off…
She said she didn’t love me and she’d taken all my money and she slammed my hand in her car door
Oh brother walk it off…
Oh oh oh…
So tell me who’s the fellow well he look like a pachuco? She said he is her cousin but I’m really not sure
Oh brother walk it off…
She make me go outside the moment he arrive and I’m not allowed in whenever he’s with her
Oh brother walk it off…
Oh oh oh that’s gonna leave a mark
Who ever told you that love is a walk in the park
Cupid shot his arrow but you know it was a shot in the dark
Oh oh oh that’s gonna leave a mark
Oh oh oh that’s gonna leave a mark
Little dumpling’s bite is so much worse than her bark
She’s as sweet and kind and cuddly as a great white shark
Oh oh oh that’s gonna leave a mark.
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7. |
Rock Off
04:36
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I was playing guitar in a hotel bar somewhere south of Baltimore
Riffing my licks and a-tossing my picks and trying to get ‘em out on the floor
Real estate dudes in frisky moods – just shoot me now
She walked in with a couple of friends, on the prowl and out on the town
I caught her eye, thought I’d give it a try – I got to spread my good love around
To set the mood right I played “We’ve got tonight, why don’t you stay?”
I gave her my smoldering stare – she shot me a pitying glare – then she told me
Rock off – Mr. Hampton Inn Player
Rock off – no you ain’t got a prayer
My sweet mama didn’t raise me to
Give it up for the likes of you
Tip your servers – try the veal – and
Rock OFF!
I was opening act for the guy called ‘Tack’ – his band was big in ‘86
Royalty checks and tantric sex and hired guns playing his hits
Rented backline and the feedback whine – it’s gonna be a long night
I played my six tunes to the half-empty room, went backstage for something to eat
Seeds and stems and brown M&Ms and bread that’s way too big for the meat
I spied a young lass with a backstage pass – I’ll show her round!
Didya ever meet a real rock star? – She asked if I ever owned a car, then she told me
Rock off – Mr. Warmup Hack
Rock off – you must be smoking crack
Here’s a little fashion tip
Spandex never really was hip
Go play ‘Stairway’ at Guitar Center and
Rock OFF!
Rock off – Mr. C-List Hack
Rock off – just hit the road, Jack
My sainted mama would be spinning in her grave
If she thought I let you misbehave
Delivering pizzas might be a good career option, so
Rock OFF!
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8. |
Happy Home
03:33
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In Vegas three days
What happens there stays
His memory’s a haze but that smile means trouble
His mind is a whirl
He remembers a girl
She called herself Pearl and she called him ‘Bubbles’
Things are tense at home and so he’s chasing a thrill
If the brunette won’t the redhead probably will
You’re a big girl honey, guess we both know the drill
So grab your coat and purse while I take care of the bill
I think I hear the sound of the end of someone’s happy home
Honey that’s the sound of the end of someone’s happy home
And while he’s away
It’s your turn to play
What you did you won’t say but the memory’s a doozy
There might have been shots
There might have been lots
Just ‘cause you’re hot to trot doesn’t mean you’re a floozy
Hey guess what? My college boyfriend blew into town
Don’t wait up for me I’m gonna show him around
He’s like a brother don’t be jealous, what’s with that frown?
Now if you’ll excuse me, Hon, it’s time to get down!
I think I hear the sound of the end of someone’s happy home…
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9. |
Donna Jean
02:54
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Donna Jean – prettiest girl I ever seen
Donna Jean – she’s captain of the debate team
Donna Jean – I need to teach her how to be a human being
Donna Jean – come on Honey let’s make the scene
Donna Jean let me take you to the dance
Maybe teach you something ‘bout true romance
You gotta get ready for the 4H fair
How did so many curves get to be so square?
Donna Jean – pretty as a picture in a magazine
Donna Jean – she’s my valedictorian dream
Donna Jean – she’s her own grandma at the age of 18
Donna Jean – come on Honey let’s make the scene
Donna Jean let me take you to the show
Don’t know why I bother ‘cause you just say ‘no’
Babe you got it all with your brains and looks
There’s so much you need to learn that ain’t in books
Donna Jean – she’s my little dean’s list queen
Donna Jean – she’s saving herself for Alfred Einsteen
Donna Jean – she takes normal to an extreme
Donna Jean – come on Honey let’s make the scene
Donna Jean let me take you to the prom
You’re too busy working on your atom bomb
There’s more to life than nukular experiments
When you’re old you’ll wonder where the good times went
Donna Jean – she’s all Easter, I’m Halloween
Donna Jean – I’m polluted, she’s so green
Donna Jean – She’s so sweet and I’m so mean
Donna Jean – I’m so funky, she’s so clean
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10. |
Buy American
02:43
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I been meditatin’ on it just to know the Lord
And I’m not sure He’d drive a Ford
Prob’ly not Saturn, Dodge or a Chevy
And a Caddy or a Chrysler would be way too heavy
I believe when he climbs behind the wheel
It’d be in our Father’s Oldsmobile
But He’d buy American
‘Cause He’s on our side
I been ponderin’ on it and I believe I can guess
What the Virgin Mary’d use to clean her dress
Don’t see her headin’ down to Sears
To buy herself a Kenmore and a box of Cheer
I think she’d throw her clothes with pride
Into a Whirlpool with a cup of Tide
But She’d buy American
‘Cause She’s on our side
I been studyin’ on it but I really don’t know
What Jesus’d use to watch HBO
Don’t believe he’d watch no Panasonic
No Toshiba, Samsung, no Trinitronic
His Superbowl party’s gonna be a bust
‘Cause there ain’t no TVs made by us
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